Marriage and Divorce

Cheddington St Giles 4 October 2009

First Reading

Genesis 2.18-24

¹⁸The LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.’ ¹⁹So out of the ground the LORD God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. ²⁰The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. ²¹So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. ²²And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ²³Then the man said,
‘This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
this one shall be called Woman,
for out of Man this one was taken.’
²⁴Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Gospel

Mark 10.2-16

²Some Pharisees came, and to test Jesus they asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ ³He answered them, ‘What did Moses command you?’ ⁴They said, ‘Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.’ ⁵But Jesus said to them, ‘Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you. ⁶But from the beginning of creation, “God made them male and female.” ⁷“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, ⁸and the two shall become one flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one flesh. ⁹Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.’

¹⁰Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. ¹¹Jesus said to them, ‘Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; ¹²and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.’

¹³People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. ¹⁴But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. ¹⁵Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.’ ¹⁶And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.

Talk

Today’s readings from scripture are about human relationships. Particularly marriage. How many clergy this morning up and down the land will base their sermons on these readings, I wonder? How many will think of another topic that is easier and safer to address?

Why? – because all aspects of human sexuality and different kinds of human relationships have become the hot topic that threatens to cause irreparable schism within our church; causes bishops to refuse to receive communion alongside each other; and consumes more column inches in the press than anything else.

Most people are bemused, whether or not they are regular church goers. What is so crucial about human relationships that it overrides the very gospel itself?

Faced with these readings, I won’t duck the issue – but in only 8 – 10 minutes I only have time to talk about marriage and not other forms of relationship. After all, that’s what these readings are about. But the same arguments in some ways apply to other types, as we shall see.

It’s tempting to dismiss the controversy as a falling-out between one wing of the church and the other. Evangelicals, you might say, take a more strict view of the authority of scripture. They tend to quote passages from the Bible which concern human sexuality and claim they are universal laws that are applicable today just as much as when they were originally written down. To them, all of the Bible is divinely inspired in a literal sense.

The more liberal wings of the church also believe there are natural laws that apply universally – do not kill for example – and they also believe in the divine inspiration of scripture, but in a less direct way. They put passages into context, social and historical, and believe in the application of human reason to interpret scripture. They believe the Bible writers were inspired by God to put down what they wrote, but not every word should be taken literally.

It’s a gross over simplification of course, but what about the large number of congregations like ourselves who are more middle of the road as it were? What approach should we take? Well, I suppose we are all different, and we all vary in our attitudes and the way we work out our own interpretation. I won’t pretend to speak for any of you: I can only speak for myself – but let’s look at today’s readings and see what we can derive from them.

The reading from Genesis is about the creation of man and woman. Very few people whatever their beliefs about divine inspiration of scripture take a literal view of the creation stories, but this passage does not confine itself to the creation of woman. It talks about marriage. In verse 24 we read:

²⁴Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Jesus quotes this verse almost word for word when the Pharisees ask him about divorce. Notice he does not forbid divorce, but adds what God has joined together, let no one separate.

A Jewish man could divorce his wife in those days very easily, just by giving her a piece of paper annulling the marriage and sending her away. He did have to pay heavily if he did so, by refunding twice the woman’s dowry. Jesus makes the sanction sterner: if either marry again, he says, they are committing adultery.

The church calls this the sanctity of marriage. But here’s where a genuine Christian approach to all relationships should override the few reported words of Jesus on the subject. He was not a stickler after the law. He did not refuse to speak to outcasts as any other Jewish man of his day would have done. He did not turn away the sinful woman who let her hair down to wipe her tears from his feet. He did not condemn the woman taken in adultery. His test was simply one of love.

How can we approach the same tricky questions about human sexuality and relationships today? True, the church teaches that marriage is indissoluble but scripture acknowledges our fallen nature.

When the Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce, he did not duck the issue and list exceptions to the sanctity of marriage. But his stern words do not override the whole of the rest of his ministry. The gospel of redemption and compassion in other words.

If a marriage is on the rocks, the sanctity of the relationship and especially the interests of children should mean we do everything we can to help the troubled couple towards restoration. But if the relationship breaks down irretrievably, we should not be seeking to apply rules derived from a few verses of scripture but acknowledging our fallen nature and seeking the gospel of redemption and compassion.

Surely the same applies to other forms of relationship too. They might not be orthodox or conventional, but as Jesus says elsewhere in the Sermon on the Mount, ‘Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgement you make, you will be judged...’

In the book of Revelation, John the Divine has a vision of heaven. A great multitude standing in front of the throne worshipping God. One of the elders asks who are these people in white robes approaching the throne? The answer came back that they are those who have come out of great tribulation whose robes have been made white by the blood of the Lamb. The Lamb, it says, will feed them and ‘God will wipe away all tears from their eyes.

So it is God himself who shows compassion by redeeming those who have persevered in the face of tribulation. They were not perfect. They made mistakes. They constantly fell away and missed the mark, which is the definition of sin. But the gospel teaching is that God will show ultimate love, and faith in his love on our part leads to happiness.